Why did the chicken cross the road?

Ever since the bird flu scare in the state of Maharashtra

Everyone including me has been strictly warned NOT to eat chicken or eggs

Most restaurants across the city aren't even stocking let alone serving chicken and eggs

Even domestic airlines across the country aren't servin em anymore

I never realised how much of a staple diet chicken and eggs are

Eggs are the basic of breakfast...scrambled, omlette, sunny side up etc

Everywhere I look the food doesn't taste the same

'Oh sorry maam, we made it eggless'

Last nite, I was out at yet another farewell dinner

And the hostess was kind enough to inform us that the prawn cocktail was made from imported mayonaise (thus being free from bird flu)

Even basic mayonaise is made of egg white - Damn!

The biggest problem is in Chinese food

'Chicken flied lieeyc' is the ultimate as far as I am concerned

And no matter how much I love my seafood

'Plaunn flied lieeyc' just doesn't add up

I miss my Butter chicken (not that I ate it much but now that I can't have it, I want it)

I miss chicken kebabs

I miss chicken rolls

I miss french toast

I miss egg whites

I miss cakes with egg in em

I miss pancakes

I miss scrambled eggs

Oh! Come back to me dear chicken and eggs

Wait O yeah Wait a minute Mr Policeman

Last night was a farewell party for "Gaps"

We went to our very own favourite sports bar - Bowling Co which we so lovingly call Boco

I love going there

Everyone knows us

They know what we drink

What table we like to sit at

What we usually order to eat

And we can be as loud and obnoxious as we like

I absolutely love it

But then I always love going to places that the staff know me

It just makes the entire experience so much nicer

What can I say, I love being pampered

So, after a fairly wild night at Boco, I decided it was time for me to go home

And thats precisely what a couple of us did

Cut to, me fast asleep

9:15 am

Jack Johnson wakes me up with my current favourite song "News"

I turn over and look at my mobile phone

8 missed calls

7 sms's

All between 2:30 am and 4 am

And I say
"Hey ay ay ay ay
ay ay ay
I say Hey
Whats goin on"

Cut to, three minutes later

I'm rolling in my bed in laughter

It seems the rest of the gang, a good 15 odd people

Decided they wanted to boogy the night away

They went to "Ra" a popular club 10 steps away from Boco

And trust their luck

The cops came and shut the place down

Not only that

They were marched into the police van

And taken down to the local police station

Ha ha

And kept there in a holding room

Identified

Report written out

And warned

But the odd part was, they did nothing

They were just dancing in the club

LOL

And I missed all of it

I was in my bed floating on pink cotton candy clouds

So fast asleep that I didn't even hear the phone ring

It renewed my faith in the Lord looking out for me

Funny I say that, coz just yesterday I was telling a friend of mine that I'm fighting with the Lord

So, while he may be messing around with my life at the moment

Somewhere deep inside, I guess, I am still loved

Lil' Ms Klutz

I was out of town on a meeting yesterday

And this particular client I was meeting is as cute as hell

I've known him for like 6-7 years

Ever since I was like a management trainee

I wasn't even working on his business then

But damn, my eyes would light up every time he entered the office

And it wasn't often

He was based in another city

I started working on his business a few months ago

And he is still SO CUTE

And gorgeous

And rich

And well spoken

And married!!!!

Sigh, all the good ones seem to be taken

I forget how cute he is until I see him time and time again

And I know for a fact he notices me too

But thats for another post altogether

I'm usually a fairly composed person

But yesterday

The meeting went very very very well

We achieved everything the team had set out for the day

He sat across me at lunch

Kept glancing at me while we ate

Everything was perfect till

He came to say bye

I was packing my stuff

And he said

While stretching his arm out

Looking straight in my eyes

"Always a pleasure to see you, noojes"

And I dropped my sunglasses on the floor

ARGH

ARGH

ARGH

I'm...











Somebody kill me!!!

Leavin' on a jet plane

All my bags are packed,
I’m ready to go
I’m standing here outside my door
I hate to wake up to catch a flight

And my back is breakin’,
it’s early morn
My drivers waiting,
he’s blowin’ his horn

Already I’m so tired
I could cry.

So comment me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll write for me
Comment like you’ll never let me go.

I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
I know when I’ll be back again ;)
Oh, babe, I hate to go...

The Wicked Witch of the East

I am a bit obssessive about the way my hair looks

I've been like this for years and yet I can never get it perfectly set into place myself

My poor hairdresser has driven herself crazy over the years with me

Not too short

Not too long

Not so blonde

Not too red

This fringe needs to be this long

Argh poor her

I really do drive her crazy

But the fact is I look after my hair

Good shampoo, conditioner, leave in conditioner, serum etc

But some days (like today), I can't be bothered to blow dry my hair

And then this is what I end up looking like...

You like?

Snug as a bug in a rug

I've been travelling all weekend

Left friday early morning with the onset of a terrible cold

Three girls on a road trip

Spazsim Chasm was there too

She beat me to writing a post about it so guys make your way over to Spazsim's page (link on the right) and read about one fantastically funny weekend

But I fell sick

Sicker than sick

I haven't been this sick in a long while


You know when you have muscles hurting in your body that you didn't even know existed

When your lips are so dry and pouty but mind you PINK at the same time, you look like Naomi Campbell with pinker lips

Your head feels like a merry go round

Your nose feels like the Angel falls

And your throat and chest, well they just hurt like hell

But other than being sick, I had a fabulous weekend

The first 30 hours was 'Just the girls'

I had forgotten how much fun it is to hang out with only girls

The three of us ended up sharing one hotel room

Girly talk

Hair talk

Boy talk

Wine talk

"Girls just wanna have fun"

VH1 was constantly on in the background with three varied commentaries

The second night was when the boys showed up

But I was too sick to party by then

I'm snug as a bug in a rug

PS - Read Spazsim's ABC of the trip :)

All booked up

The Singles Club (read 4 single friends) - luckilly we were 2 male and 2 female went out to dinner on Valentines night

Had it been a different ratio we would have gotten the 'Loser' glares from everyone around

I hate that

BUT,

Would you believe we forgot to book a table

And we realised this at 7 30 pm on valentines evening

Smart eh

From 7 30 to 8 30, three of us were calling every restaurant that we wanted to go to and guess what

"Sorry, we're all booked tonight"

CLICK

ARGH CLICK

On any other night they'd be like, "Mobile number please"

And then they call back to make sure you're coming to spend too much money

Hmph

CLICK

I swung a table at 'Trishna'

A quaint sea food restaurant with fabulous food

Not much ambience

And definitely not romantic

Purrfect

The singles club waltzed in

Oh uh

Are we the only singles?

Phhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeewwwwwwww

A table of 5 girls

LOL

They have got to look worse than we do

Half a bottle of wine later it didn't even matter

The squid was brilliant

And then the butter pepper garlic crab came

And put on my bib

Turned to the crab

And said

'Happy Valentines day'

Cracked it open

And licked my lips

Moment no 11 : Priceless

2 months, 2 weeks and somethin'

Whats with that?

Valentines day is exactly 2 months and 2 days after New Years

And whats odder is that 'Childrens' day' (well atleast in India) is exactly 9 months after Valentines day...

Did someone actually have a wicked sense of humour LOL

Anyways mine was the oh so average valentines day

Not that I set out to do anything special but hey there were moments there in the day that made me feel like a queen again

Moment 1 : Waking up to a really long distance sms that said "Happy Valentines day" - this coming from a man that doesn't believe in the concept of Valentines day

Moment 2 : Getting a phone call at 8 am saying "Happy Valentines day" - this call not local either

Moment 3 : My mother wishing me

Moment 4 : Entering the office and seeing 2 gorgeous bouquets of orchids on my desk

Moment 5 : The surprise chinese left over lunch saved for me at work - yum

Moment 6 : My phone lighting up "London boy calling"

Moment 7 : London boy saying "Happy Valentines day baby" (spoke to him after 2 months, 2 weeks and somethin')

Moment 8 : London boy talking about his wife and baby to be and me still smiling

Moment 9 : London boy saying "Happy Valentines day baby, I miss hearing your voice"

Moment 10 : Falling asleep with a smile on my face

I know what you did last Valentines!

Not too long ago Lily, Jerry and I were talking well 'commenting' and somewhere along the way we decided to share a true story of Valentines day from our past...

So, as promised here it goes...

I was dating 'London boy' at the time

London boy was as close to 'Mr Big' (SATC) as far as I and all my friends were concerned

He was gorgeous, well mannered, rich, had good taste, spoke well and wore suits

He was perfect

London boy and I were quite the couple

Heads turned when we walked into a room

Women swooned and muttered stuff under their breath

It was fascinating

London boy postponed his trip back to London to spend Valentines day with me

13th Feb : Thursday night

London boy and I were having dinner at his hotel

11: 55 pm

11:56 pm

11: 57 pm

11: 58 pm

11: 59 pm













12:01 am

Nothing

He said nothing

And to be honest, neither did I

I drove home and went to work the next morning

All the girls around me got flowers, phone calls

Hell, one girl even got a plane ticket

I got nothing

Not a call

Not an sms

Not even an e-mail

11 am

Noon

1 pm

2 pm

3 pm

Still nothing

And I didn't call either

Finally, at 4 pm, I get the awaited phone call

"Babe, listen..."

"Uh huh"

"I'm real busy, but be at the Mariott at 8 pm in a black dress...

"Uh huh"

"And don't be late, time is of essence"

"But... but..."

"Gotta run, see you at 8 in the lobby and remember, don't be late"

Still no Happy Valentines day

Nothing

I was a bit peeved to be honest

7:45 pm

I'm sitting at a girlfriends house in a black dress waiting

Waiting for what, I don't know

7:50 pm

The phone rings

"Babe, where you?"

Still no Happy Valentines day

"I'm at a friends house"

"WHAT? Why aren't you on your way? I told you don't be late, time is of essence"

"Ok ok I'm leaving"

8: 15 pm

I drive into the Mariott and the lobby and valet manager are awaiting my arrival

I walk in

He stands there suited and booted

"You look lovely"

"Uh huh"

I'm still peeved

"Lets have a drink at the bar"

We walk down the stunning atrium to the bar and sit by the window facing the pool

"What do you want to drink"

"Wine, please"

"No, don't have wine now, have a cocktail"

"THEN WHY DID YOU ASK ME?"

A frozen margarita showed up and I sipped it slowly and slowly started to enjoy my evening

Still no Happy Valentines day

We finished the drink

"So, where do you want to have dinner?"

"You didn't book a table?"

"Well I've heard the buffet at the coffee shop is pretty good"

"I didn't dress up to have buffet, lets just sit here and have another drink"

No avail, I was dragged through the coffee shop and made to look at the buffet spread with escargot, caviar, fondue, a live pasta counter etc

"You're right, lets not eat here. Lets go someplace else but I have a couple of e-mails I need to send out from the business center before we go to dinner. So lets just go send off the e-mails and then we'll do dinner"

Locatted on the top floor of the hotel is the business center

French windows all the way through

He left me by a window and disappeared

I couldn't get over the stunning view

The pool divided into inlets

Fire torches lighting the pool

All overlooking the beach, the sea, the sky and the stars

Stunning

Before I knew it, he was back

"I'm done. Lets go. But I want to show you something"

He walked me to the end of the business center

He walked me through a door

There, on the board room table of the business center were 12 different bouquets of flowers

Each a different kind of flower

At the end of the table by the french window was a candle lit dinner setting for two

With a single perfect rose on my plate (which I still have all dried up)

And the bottle of red wine

Not a word came out of my mouth

I just smiled

I glowed

London boy turned to the staff standing by the door

He asked him to leave

"But Sir, I have to serve dinner"

"God, gave me two hands, I can serve the lady"

With that, we were alone

Still no Happy Valentines day

Cut to a fabulous dinner that he served me course by course

Half way through the main course he looks at me and says

"Oh my God, we're late"

"Now what?"

He stood up and walked to the edge of the room

Turned off the lights

The only light in the room was the single candle and the light pouring in from outside

He pulled back my chair and stood me up

Walked me to the edge of the french window

The view was still spectacular

He looked at me and said

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2
















There was a complete fireworks display for me

"Happy Valentines Day Baby"

I just smiled

This is an actual story. No part has been fabricated.

a time for thanks

before going to bed every night
i say thank u

over the years it has become a habit
'thanks' some nights
'thank u' other nights
and sometimes a serious "Thank You God"

before falling asleep last nite
i got to thinking

do i even know what i'm thanking the Lord for?
has it just become a habit?

hmmm

it took me back to my school assembly

every day the whole school would stand at attention
and in chorus we would say

'thank you for the world so sweet
thank you for the food we eat
thank you for the birds that sing
thank you God for everything'

i am not even sure if there was more to it
thats all i can remember

is that all i have to be grateful for

'the time has come
the walrus said
to talk of many things
of shoes and ships and sealing wax
of cabbages and kings
and why the sea is boiling hot and
whether pigs have wings'

i'm attempting to note down a few things i need to be aware of being grateful for

1. im alive
2. im healthy
3. im happy
4. i have a job i love
5. i have a family that loves me
6. i have a family i love
7. i have friends that love me
8. i have friends i love
9. i have blogger friends that ive never met that seem to like me
10. i find it easy to make friends
11. i forgive and forget
12. i live i learn
13. i am not bad looking
14. i have money to spend, to pay, to buy
15. i have food to eat
16. i can see, hear, touch, feel and taste
17. i have a car
18. i have clothes to wear
19. i thank my mother for teaching me 'spirituality'
20. i thank my father for instilling in me that i should strive and deserve only the best
21. i thank my sister for screwing my head back on time and time again
22. i thank my brother for pushing me beyond my limits every single time
23. i thank my brother in law for making life seem so simple even when its not
24. i thank my sister in law for being a mother, a sister, a friend all the time
25. i thank 'fatso' for teaching me that nothing is worth being in a terrible relationship
26. i thank 'London boy' for teaching me that love can be unconditional
27. i thank 'London boy' for teaching me the art of patience
28. i thank 'father and mother figure' for teaching me that love can overcome other obstacles
29. i thank the Lord for giving me the strength to go through life smiling
30. i thank the Lord for giving me the strength to help other people with their problems

thank you

thank you

thank you

Have I been hypnotised? mesmerised?

Strange things are going on in my life

The professor and I were having a conversation 2 night ago and he outright told me that he has been 'elated' since he met me

He asked me how I had been feeling

And I said 'Happier'

Happier?

I couldn't believe I said 'happier'

Who on earth says they are 'happier' when the other person says they are 'elated' since they met you?

Got me thinking

Happier

Hmm

Happier

Never came up with a logical enough explanation for that slip except that somewhere inside I always am used to saying I'm happy, I'm fabulous even when I'm not....so logically I hit the 'I'm happier' button

I've been seeing spirits a bit more frequently lately

Wait, did that spook you out?

Yeah, I see spirits on and off

The clearest one I ever saw was in Goa on the beach late at night in November last year

I was with 2 friends and we had just finished taking a walk down the beach

It was around midnight

We sat ourself down on the sand

There were some stray dogs running around

And thats when I saw him

In blue jeans and a white kurti

Playing with the dogs

I watched him

And then turned to my friends and asked them if they knew who he was

(It was the private beach of the hotel and the only people around were the office crowd)

They looked at me and asked me who I was talking about

They couldn't see him

But there he was standing there in full glory in his blue jeans and white kurti looking right at me

I turned to look at my friends for a second

And I looked back and he was gone

But he was there!

Atleast I believe he was

So, I've been seeing spirits a bit more

Twice the last week

Not in full form but I see them

My guardian angels

Lately

Lately I have been happy doing simple things like breathing in and out...

Comprendez vous?

Err I seem to have forgotten

Remind me again,

How do you know if you're falling in love?

How do you know if you are in love?

How do you know if you are really missing that special someone?

How do you know how much time is enough for you to fall in love?

12 hours? 12 days? 12 dates? 12 months?

How do you know if its true?

HELP me

Line 'em up

I honestly truly believe the Lord has a sense of humour

I mean, there will be days that nothing ever will seem to go my way

No matter what I do or say or even try to accomplish it always ends up in one big SPLAT

And on other days the universe just starts conspiring to do things totally in my favour

It usually hits me on my head with one big THUD

And most of the time I don't even realise its happening until I stop to notice it

The last couple of days have been like that

My life has been pretty drab the last couple of months

No serious dating

No nothing

No men in sight

And then suddenly

over the last couple of days

People have been randomly showing up from out of the blue

And oddly enough all over the span of the same 2-3 days

It was definitely random enough for me to sit up and take note

And say

'Hey, whats goin on?'

So, lets make a list shall we

Or better yet, lets just line 'em up and shoot some of 'em down

Hmm, or maybe I should play along and see whats goin on

But for posterity sake lets line em up

6'3" is back in the radar

'Shorty' sporadically shows up too

The 'Italy' guy that I mentioned yesterday (randomly flashed on my mobile screen after a really long time) - Lives in the States

Another guy that I shall call the 'Gambler' (Strangely decided to keep in touch via sms over the last week) - Lives in the States too

And then I met the 'Professor' through a fairly random meeting who wants to meet me again - Beep, he doesn't live in India either and is leaving tonight

So, whats going on?

Is the universe conspiring for or against me?

What say you?

Da do do do Da da da da

O what a nite
Early Feb
Now in 0-6
What a very special time for me
And I remember
What a nite

(o wat a nite)

Life is all sugar and cherries
Cream and apple pie
Mint and eucalyptus soap
And bubbly bottles of champagne
as far as I am concerned

Yeah so I'm happy today

The sun is shining
The birds are singing

Well you get the picture

Last nite started with an office farewell party for a friend that I so lovingly call 'Kinky'
Yeah he is kinky
And before you start jumping to any conclusions
Allow me to give you an added piece of information
Kinky is gay

The party was an unbelievable amount of fun
I sang
I moved
I jived
I danced some more
And I drank my all time favourite red wine

Ahh the joys of being alive

We actually went to another club after the bar
Where,
I sang some more
I moved some more
I tried jiving
Until,

SPLAT

There we were on the floor

Yup, sprawled across the floor

It hurt!

But I lifted myself off the floor and dusted myself off

The poor guy broke his glasses - oops

Everyone laughed and laughed

And honestly I did too

It made me realise that its been a long long time since I've actually fallen

As adults we don't fall as often and honestly to date when I see kids falling over, I often wonder how much it hurts

Well, now I remember

I went to bed with a huge smile plastered across my face

But the universe had more in store for me

Yipeeee

I got a call from a friend I haven't spoken to in ages

Who wants to plan a trip to Italy and wants me to come

Yipeeee

Da do do do Da da da da

Is all I want to say to you

Da do do do Da da da da

Say something will you?