Fighting Time-Out

I've decided to take a dose of truth serum today

So if you can't handle the truth and me rambling...I suggest you leave now...

I have not been terribly happy lately

I've been on the verge of taking a serious 'Time-Out'

'Time-Out' in Noojes language means not taking calls, not going out, spending way too much time alone - mainly thinking at the time...

There are way too many reasons for me to take time out

There's just way too much happening in my life at the moment

Emotionally, Professionally...

And at times I just can't take it any more

And it usually leads to a serious time out

But my time outs never last more then 72 hours

I call it my 72 hour rule

Behave badly - only for 72 hours

Want to cry - 72 hours at the max

Want to mourn a loss - 72 hours

Never a moment more...

With me, its usually never a moment less either when I take a time out

But this time, I'm fighting taking a time-out

I'm actually pushing myself to go out

I'm pushing myself to say everything will be ok

"The sun will come out tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow

There'll be sun

Just thinkin about tomorrow..."

What I really feel like doing at the moment is

Catching a flight

Straight to Nashville, TN

Thats my international hide out

Where I can't run but surely can hide

Atleast for a while

Live the Suburban American life

Yesterday one of my closest married friends from St Martin called me

Her life has just changed totally

Not once in the conversation did she ask me how I am

All she spoke of was her baby boy

She didn't even ask how I was...

And I didn't say either...

Hmmm, it upset me a bit...

At the same time on call wait

A man from St Thomas - lets call him Mr Italy for all future reference...

(call it co-incidence that they both thought of me and called at the exact same moment)

(this is the one that invited me to Italy)

I've realised over the years that he always calls me when he is drinking

The famous Drunk Dial

But he has known me for years and years

Damn, he even offered me a diamond ring a couple of years ago

I said no at the time...

Anyways Mr Italy said "AJ, I still worship you"

(AJ is what he calls me)

Worship what kind of crap is that?

I'm rambling...I better go...

Run run run
Hide hide hide
I wanna stop the clock...